The 500 Shirts of Rocko Wallaby
by xandermartin98
Summary: In a parody of "The 500 Hats Of Bartholomew Cubbins", Rocko's shirt keeps reappearing on his body whenever he takes it off, getting him into major trouble with the town.


One morning, Rocko the wallaby woke up as he did every morning after sleeping in his clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower.  
However, the millisecond he took his Hawaiian shirt off, another, identical copy of it appeared on his pudgy wimpy body!

"What in the blazes?" Rocko wondered, bewildered. "How is this possible, even by cartoon logic standards? And don't I already have enough copies of this stupid shirt hung up in me closet?  
"Heck, I've got so many darned copies of this flipping shirt in there that I can no longer even remember which one is supposed to be me 'lucky' one! Gee whiz! Well, I suppose I'm gonna have to take a shower with at least half of me clothes on now..."

Rocko thought it to be terribly ironic that he was wearing clothing while taking a shower, but in the end it worked out and he was relieved that he didn't have to worry about Heffer and Filburt spying on him again. "Oh, gosh, I'm still having painful memories of that time when those two creeps filmed me naked...gee whiz, what goes on in their heads?"

After drying off, Rocko took his shirt off and another one appeared where the old one was. "Heh heh...good as new! I wonder if this is permanent..."

Rocko had a little bit of time left before going to work, so, after eating his cereal and brushing his teeth, he started taking his shirt off again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

THREE MINUTES LATER...

Rocko was sweating and panting, and there was a huge pile of at least 180 Hawaiian shirts laying before him.  
"Crikey, where are all these blasted shirts coming from? I could make a darned good profit out of selling these, I'll bet? Maybe I should try donating some of them to Goodwilliam!  
"Or, heck, maybe I could even let Spunky eat a few of them. I wonder what the nutritional value is?  
"Oh, who am I kidding? I've gotta go to work! Be a good dog, Spunky! Bye bye!" Rocko waved to Spunky while slipping his shoes on and leaving through the front door.

Suddenly, he bumped into Edward Bighead, who had an angry sneering look on his face.

"ROCKO!" Ed screamed straight into Rocko's face through a giant megaphone, so loudly that it blew Rocko's shirt right off, nearly busted holes through his literal eardrums, and almost blew the skin right off of his snout.

Rocko's entire body was shaking from the shock, his ears were ringing in agony, and his poor brain felt like God had just crammed a giant college-size textbook into it. "Please, Ed, don't scream so loudly. I think my ears are bleeding internally..."

"I'LL YELL AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS WHENEVER I DARNED WELL PLEASE, KANGAROO BOY!" Ed Bighead exclaimed in all of his trademark caps-lock glory.  
"I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOUR EARDRUMS HURT- WHAT?!"

Ed was bewildered and confused when he saw that another shirt had appeared on Rocko's body. "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?! WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?! WHAT IS- *cough* *cough* *gasp* *wheeze*" Ed collapsed onto the ground, speechless.

"Ed, wake up!" Rocko encouraged him. Ed woke up and started coughing again; Rocko realized that Ed was choking on something. "Looks like I'm gonna have to perform the Heimlich! Don't you worry, Mr. Bighead!"

Rocko performed the Heimlich maneuver, causing Ed to spit out a slimy hairball that just barely missed Rocko's face and knocked a crow off of the nearby power line.

"MADNESS! TREACHERY! ENCHANTMENT!" Ed started yelling. "ROCKO'S SHIRT IS ENCHANTED BY MAGIC AND IT CLONES ITSELF WHENEVER HE TAKES IT OFF! EVERYONE LOOK!"

With everyone watching, Ed completely ripped Rocko's shirt off with his bare hands and tore it into shreds. The audience observed with extreme awe and bewilderment as a new shirt instantly appeared on Rocko's body!

"Umm, okay, people...umm..." Rocko stood there awkwardly and nervously, thinking. "No need to freak out and panic...I've just...uh...I just...heh heh...well, I've just got an odd little, uhh, wardrobe malfunction, and uhh, heh heh...oh my GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Everyone pulled out pitchforks and torches and pursued Rocko as Rocko nearly screamed his brain out and made a run for it. Even his boss decided to join the angry mob.

"My boss...in angry mob form!" Rocko said in dismay, gazing straight toward the viewers. "How could this day possibly get any worse?"

Eventually he was caught and dragged into O-Town's recently built White Castle restaurant, which in Rocko's world was like a literal castle.

King Heffer turned around in his throne and faced Rocko.  
"MAGIC IS BAD! GO TO DUNGEON RIGHT NOW!" Heffer yelled.

"But, Heffer, you're my friend." Rocko sobbed.

"Who cares about dumb old friendship? I was busy enjoying my hamburgers until you decided to interrupt me!" Heffer argued.

"But Heffer, it wasn't my fault!" Rocko pleaded. "Believe me, I-"

"LA LA LA, I'M NOT LISTENING!" Heffer replied. "I DON'T WANNA HEAR SILLY STUPID EXCUSES! THROW HIM IN THE DUNGEON!"

"Yes master." Peter Wolfe replied in his fairy princess mascot uniform.

Rocko was thrown in the dungeon and found himself before Filburt, who was now working as an executioner for some odd reason.

"Why are you the executioner, Filburt?" Rocko asked.

"Oh, no reason." Filburt replied shyly. "Just...oh, you know, a turtle's gotta do what a turtle's gotta do in order to make a living...oh, and did I mention I'm Jewish?"

"Well, that's all well n' good, Filburt, but can we please just get this over with? And what does your Jewish religion have to do with your desire for money?" Rocko asked.

"Oh, it's a long story...maybe later." Filburt answered. "Anyway, show me what everyone's makin' all this fuss about..."

Rocko pulled his shirt off, and Filburt was strangely unsurprised when another one appeared on Rocko's body.

"I dunno why, but this situation feels so familiar that I just kinda saw that one coming..." Filburt explained. "Anyway, there's nothing bad about that. I'll send you upstairs where you will deal with the King's annoying servants on the top balcony. They're the Chameleon Brothers. Anyway, ya wanna know their weakness?"

"What is it? Their gayness?" Rocko asked.

"Bingo." Filburt answered, giving Rocko a handshake. "Now get out there and show them who's boss!"

Rocko climbed up to the top balcony of White Castle and was greeted by the Chameleon Brothers, Chuck and Leon. "HALT, stranger! Who dares disgrace the fantastic name of this fabulous castle?" they said in unison.

Rocko had left a trail of shirts behind him while climbing the staircase, so Chuck and Leon were both well aware of what was going on.

"Oh, what's that, little cupcake? You think you can outsmart us? You think you're more handsome than us? HA! I say! HA! HA!" they both said in unison again.

"I never said anything about-" Rocko started to argue, but then a lightbulb appeared over his head and he grinned a devious grin like he was planning something. "More handsome...THAT'S IT!" Rocko thought to himself.

Rocko lowered his hands to his shoes. "Wait, what are you doing?!" the Chameleon Brothers exclaimed. "Please, no! We both have an unbearable fetish for short wallabies! And feet, too! PLEASE DON'T DO IT-"

At that exact moment, Rocko had completely removed both of his shoes. He flamboyantly showed off his bare soles and wiggled his bare toes right in front of Chuck and Leon's faces. "Don't I have the cutest toes?" Rocko quoted Babs Bunny.

Chuck and Leon were both completely lovestruck and drooling. "SO...BEAUTIFUL...OOH LA LAA!" Both of them put their hands over their foreheads and swooned like women, toppling off the edge of the balcony; luckily, the concrete beneath them was cushioned, so they survived the fall with few injuries.

Rocko slipped his shoes back on, turned around, and screamed when he saw Heffer looking at him. But for some reason Heffer looked proud of Rocko.  
"Rocko, this was all just a big elaborate joke! But as a reward for your bravery, I hereby declare you the new prince of White Castle!"

Rocko lived happily ever after, working an overly glorified job at an overly fancy giant fast-food restaurant. Eventually, Rocko's curse was lifted and he practically forgot all about it. THE END


End file.
